When you are in the full flow of true unconditional love, you are directly experiencing your wholeness. When you are in love’s flow you are not reliant on any external experience, thing or person to feel complete or happy — you are self-empowered.
As a result, love and the joy it brings cannot be taken from you. Your love is something within yourself and is not tarnished or determined by what someone else says, thinks or does. When self-love is generated, seen and felt, insecurity and emotional dependency becomes a thing of the past. Any need to seek approval or validation simply dissolves, as you are complete.
True love is internal, not external.
An important thing to realise is: True love comes from within you; it is not external.
If you are reliant on love from another person in order to feel complete and contented, you miss the point of what love is.
You are looking externally for something that is lacking within you — love.
To give you an analogy, let’s say your body runs on electricity. You have a powerhouse inside of you to generate all the electricity you need. This allows you to function perfectly, independent of any external source — you are self-supportive and whole. But if your internal power plant broke down and you had to plug into an external power generator, you would be reliant on that external source to keep functioning. You then start to function without wholeness; you become incomplete. This becomes a very insecure existence; at any time you could be disconnected.
If you are relying on someone to make you feel love and/or loved what happens if they leave? What happens to your wholeness? All of a sudden love is gone and emptiness and pain occurs, and you fall apart. When the love you experience is generated from within, it is stable, safe and secure, giving you true wholeness. This gives you an authentic life. If you truly love yourself it does not matter what anyone does; it does not change that love or that Truth.
When love is generated from within, external love can be experienced in a more profound way.
Love is never found outside of yourself. The love, or lack of it, you experience from others is always a reflection and meter of the amount of love you have within yourself. You can only ever have what you are. If you have love within, love shows up in all of your experiences. This also greatly increases the likelihood of attracting a loving partner to your life.
If you love ‘you’, other people will too.
If you want more love in your life, then look for ways to love ‘yourself’ more. When you are full of self-love and self-value you become very attractive to other people. People tend to do more loving things for you; your internal love impacts on them in that way.
Real love is all about removing resistance to energy flow.
True love happens when we are living in a full state of detached allowance (unhindered energy movement). When we let all experiences and energy move in and through our lives without restriction, we are being loving to ourselves. This is true love.
The real meaning and understanding of love is all about energy flow; your level of self-love is determined by how much you let go of whatever you are holding onto.
The less resistance you have, the more love you experience.
When you let go of what makes you feel uncomfortable or fear you love yourself in that moment. This includes letting go of emotions, people, momentary dependence, objects and jobs — anything at all you have an attachment to. If it restricts or hinders your natural flow you are not being loving to yourself.
If you restrict your divine self from unfolding in the way God intended you are doing a great disservice to your life.
You are not valuing who you are — a sacred soul doing a sacred job. Whenever you do this you burden or make harder some level of your unfoldment.
If you are not doing your best to be in alignment to, and allow, energetic flow you are not doing your best to love yourself.
If this is the case, the question that needs answering here is: Why not?
Why don’t you feel worthy of love?
What is it that is stopping you from full allowance and detachment?
Why do you choose to not be committed to having a loving and happy life? Know that any restriction to your internal energy flow is an unloving thing to do.
Is it because you do not feel worthy or you think you’re undeserving of success?
Do you do this because to let go of something unloving would mean you have to let go of something you hold as true and safe in your life? A lot of what we base our lives on is non-truth and is therefore unloving. So, to let go of these things makes us feel very uneasy and often scares us. The irony here is what makes us feel uncomfortable is often what can be an effective catalyst to creating self-love.
Past non-truthful perception of experiences prevents us from generating self-love.
Your fears and perceptions of your value are often the result of past emotional conditioning. Way back when you were younger, you most likely had an experience that you perceived as validating you not being as valuable or as important as other people. Ever since then, because of the emotional imprint you created at the time, you are now continually attracting to you experiences to validate what you vibrate within (lack of value and importance).
It may have been as simple as an experience of your mum wanting to go shopping and being in a hurry. Let’s say you are six years old and you want to go shopping with her, but because your mum is running late to go somewhere else later she tells you that you cannot come. She does this to save time, not because she doesn’t love you. But as a six year old you perceive that as “I am not good enough to go,” or “Mummy does not love me anymore.” As a result, you believe something about the experience that isn’t true. Of course, your mum loves you; she is just in a hurry.
From this moment on, because of the non-truthful belief you now have about yourself, you keep attracting experiences to re-affirm you are not good enough. This takes you further and further away from love and value.
As a result, you start repressing and restricting energy movement and flow even more, in the hope you will not have more experiences to shine a light on your perceived lack of value. You do not want to ever see again the flaws you ‘see’ in who and what you are. This just makes you feel less loved and valuable.
As a result of this, you start living a life full of non-truthful self-beliefs, so you continue to avoid at all costs your emotional issues. In a sense, you are creating burden and hardship because you continue to believe a value judgment you made way back then.
Many people continually use past experiences to validate why they feel bad, cannot succeed or are unhappy. In fact they will continually be given new external experiences to support they are not good enough. Past conditioned emotional cruxes are an easy way to validate ‘poor me’.
At some stage, however, we all need to take a stand and choose to not burden ourselves; to make a stand and be brave enough to let go of our entire negative past experiences and conditioning that are negatively impacting on us right now.
This means no holding onto emotional issues, feelings of lack, worry, stress, judgment of self and others, anger, being critical of people and situations, no blaming or complaining and so on.
Until we learn to fully express how and what we feel we will never be free from burden and emptiness. Happiness will only be a dream. Love cannot exist in a person that restricts internal energetic movement.
True love is all about energy flow — where there is flow there is love.
Truth is that when you are repressing or restricting flow in any way you are not loving yourself.
What most people perceive love to be, it actually is not.
Many people think they are in love, or being loving. But what most have and create is what I call conditional love, which is not love at all. This conditional love that we all create is based on our insecurities and fears, which are non-truth. Love can never have a foundation of non-truth.
True love does not have conditions.
I have thought about love a lot over the years and have come to the conclusion that until we can function in a continual state of detached allowance, we as humans will not be able to experience love in its purest form.
Our past conditioning and the non-truthful perceptions that we all hold about who and what we are prevent us from having a direct experience of true love.
Until we ascend out of our fear-based reality and conditioning we will only experience the man-made version of love. Until we stop looking for love externally, we will not be able to experience the truth of love. Until we can allow the unconditional love emanating from our hearts to rise to the surface to dispel our non-truthful beliefs and perceptions, and then detach from their burden, we will not be able to truly experience what love is.
True unconditional love can only be experienced in others as a reflection of directly experiencing our true innate nature. It has to come from within and then, and only then, can we grasp its real beauty.
What are some of the ways I can develop more true love?
Some of this development can occur by understanding more of what love is, valuing your place in the big scheme of things and knowing you are an integral part of the whole.
It is being kind, supportive and loving towards yourself in every moment. This also means not creating non-truthful negative energies.
Don’t hold onto emotions and issues. Always fully communicate what you think and feel, regardless of what people might say or think. Communication creates energy movement, which is a loving thing to do.
Learn to take time out for you. Do something for yourself, not for others. Value your time, especially your ‘Quiet Me Time’.
Do your best to emulate what you see as loving and positive within others.
Always be sincere and never consciously create in a negative way.
Never do anything with expectancy. Expectancy is always restrictive and unloving.
The more love you have within, the less fear exists.
In each moment be what you actually are — a beautiful piece of God, enriching all life through experience.
Never involve yourself in negative gossip or spread malicious things, thoughts and judgments.
Always remember where your point of creation (attention) is — is it truthful, supportive and loving or are you being un-loving?
You are never alone in life and creation; you are always a part of a greater whole. All the support you ever need to be more loving to others and yourself exists right in your heart — right now.
I have a saying that I love: “Everything we seek as humans dwells within our hearts. The Heart is the abode of True Unconditional Love – GO THERE…”
Always remember, God loves and honours you in every moment.
If you want to experience more love in your life, be more loving to others — what you put out you get back (Law of Cause and Effect).
Don’t support others in non-truthful creation. In other words, if someone is complaining about other people don’t get involved. Whenever you recognise non-truth do your best to align and give energy to the truth presenting within it.
Practice technique for connecting to a deeper level of love
I have a wonderful meditation practice I channelled from spirit that I would like to share with you. It can have quite a profound impact if done with the right motivation and intention.
Set a pure intent to directly connect to the heart and love of God within your heart space. This intent needs to be sincere and heartfelt. You need to have a great desire to be at one with God’s heart and love.
Once this intent is set, bring your consciousness and focus into the central energy channel (sometimes called Sushumna), which is in the space between the two energy vortexes of the heart chakra (that emanate out from both the front and back of the heart chakra, like two funnels). There is a space between the two, within the heart chakra, that appears like emptiness. You will have to move your focus back and forth in this space until you feel this energy gap. Once you find it, you should notice a radiant light or a deep sense of stillness, or even a feeling of nothingness, come over you. Once you find it, relax and just ‘be’ in this space without any effort. Just be open and one with your desire to connect with God’s love and heart. Allow yourself to just ‘be’ within your heart space and intention.
Sit for as long as you like…
Remember, truth feels uplifting as opposed to non-truth, which feels heavy, negative and burdening. Quietly observe your emotional state to gauge which energy you are creating, and always do your best to create from love/Truth.
Don’t judge yourself in any way if you perceive you have done wrong. Remember, your life is always unfolding in the perfect way and time in accordance to Divine Plan. Judgment is the energy of non-truth and is burdening.
Have acceptance for what people do in their lives, don’t restrict or control — allow all experience. Remember, they are merely gathering experience, just like you; no judgement is necessary.
Do your best always to create energy movement through the expression of thoughts and feelings — in a loving way. Love and value your divineness; contrary to what you may perceive about yourself, you are a very special soul doing very special things.
You are, and have always been, a divine fragment of God, and you should always see yourself as the most wonderful, whole beautiful soul that you are.
It’s all up to you … Be the love of who you are and bring benefit to all Life. Right now you have this opportunity — embrace it.
I recommend you grab yourself a copy of my book, The Power of the Heart. It contains great techniques to help you to be more loving to yourself. Link here to get a copy – http://trevorgollagher.com/my-store/e-books/power-of-the-heart-e-book